First night back

Tuesday was my first night back at practice, and it went pretty much how i expected. We were about 30 min late because it was Julia's first time, and we had to make sure she was dressed right, and had her gear, etc. when we got there, core work was going on in the center of the rink, and we were unable to take part because we had to gear up. by the time we were all done with that, practice was starting for real and Fresh Meat were called to the end of the rink. there were a ton of us- about 10-15 I'd estimate. the end of the rink we use is a pretty tight fit, so Kevin (the FM coach) told us to just work on skating in circles at first, eventually we practiced the toe stop, and i of course had a hard time, what with the brand new skates and all, but I'll get it. we also switched directions (which is good to work the other leg on turns, so we don't get all buff on one side. lol!) of the 40 min or so of practice time that we had before going to watch the other girls scrimmage, i probably skated about 15. i knew my feet and ankles would hurt, so i didn't wanna push too hard, but at the same time it was really frustrating. I'm much more sure on my feet than i was the last time starting FM, but that;s really not saying much. i still can't seem to stand still on skates. FM training is much more structured now than it was 2 years ago, and i'm nervous about that. the actual syllabus training starts on Tuesday, and just reading it is a bit overwhelming for me. we are supposed to learn and master more in the first week of this syllabus than i did in my 2 months of RCR 2 years ago. now, it;s true that i could barely skate at all that first time, and I've got my feet under me a little better now, but... i think i'll talk to Raven about it some tonight, and see what she says. right now I'm really overwhelmed, and my fear is fighting my desire and motivation to do this. right no i wanna chicken out and go to bed and hide. (also i am really sleeeepy.)
Enough Whining! here are this week's pics:
Julz and i all geared up at the end of practice:
Bonebreaker Barbie rockin the 7th Son tshirt and shorts (and a matching bandanna) in honour of the book release that day.

Julz at the end of her first RCR practice evar! she did sooo great!
Last, but not least, here is Bonebreaker Barbie ungeared, makeup mussed, and looking pretty dang worn out at BK after practice. (none for me- getting Julz dinner)


Despite my insecurity and worries, I'll be going to practice tonight and taking lots of pics, and will be blogging and posting pics tomorrow.

encouragement from the left coast

i asked a derby acquaintance on Twitter, Hannah Grenade for some advice and and encouragement yesterday. Here's what she said:

" sheesh baby you'll be fine! Focus on your own goals each practice. The inner struggle makes you a stronger person. Do YOUR best"

That really helps. this is MY journey, and i have to go at my own pace and grow with the challenges. Wewt!

all geared up

I keep forgetting to get a pic of myself in my gear on here. here is the best one i have, tho it is sans helmet. it's from Dragon*Con 2008 and i am wearing the #6 Krakens jersey of my dear friend and former boss Scott Sigler. i look so tough! :-D

skates, ankles, arches.. oh my!

So tonight will be my first time wearing my skates on a rink. i've worn them around the house, and a hotel, but never skated in them. they fit great, which is good. i'm nervous about my ankles, and how they are gonna hold up though. i've not done any strengthening work in ages. i tried the skaes on with the ankle braces yestreday and the result was excrutiating without even skating. the ankle brace stabilizes the ankle by wrapping around the foot and then up the ankle. thos would be fantastic and helpful except for one thing- i have high arches. this means that the ankle brace, in its effort to stabilize my ankle, compounds the high arch problem by compressing the foot and bringing the arch higher. sigh. so, i am gonna look into some thin arch inserts for my skates and sneakers, and in the meantime start doin those ankle strengthening exercises...

I'm Back and ready to crack some bones!

Uhhh...err.. that sounded way more confident than i am. Truth is, i'm scared right now. Roller Derby is something i want to do badly- something i am willing to put in the time and energy to get good at, but i'm scared to fail. i keep telling myself i can only fail by giving up- there is no set timeline for success- i can take as long as i need. I'm definitely ready for the challenge and the social interaction- i think these things will be good for me. Oh, right, i forgot to say- i'm going back to practice tonight! it;s gotta stick this time. we aren't moving, have no majot book releases i need to prep for, and don't plan on any injuries. no more excuses. this is happening. NOW!

Derby Name Registered!

No practice this week, but i do have some news! I have registered my Derby Name officially! Bonebreaker Barbie #NCC-1701. WEWT! it feels more real now that i have a real name registered and i am soooo excited! it also motivates me to get my butt in better shape and get on skates as often as i can. it;s almsot 3:30 in the afternoon, andi have yet to work out,and that is juut not acceptable anymore. i needto become more disciplined and start kicking my own butt before i am ready to kick anyone else's. this afternoon i am going to push my body really hard, and i know i'll be sore tomorrow, but i am gonna get up and do it again and again until my day off on sunday. no more time to play games. also, i am going to try to go skating tomorrow(wed) sat afternoon, and Sunday night.i am excited to try out my new ankle braces! hopefully they will be a huge help! ok. time to get my HRM on and get goin!

Pre-Bout practice.

I didn't feel good. Part of me did not want to go to practice, but all of me knew i needed to. i needed the workout. i needed to see the girls. i needed to- well- PRACTICE! i think the part that wanted to stay home was the part controlled by my pride. i am progressing slowly- much more slowly than i'd like. this is mostly due to my weak ankles and the fact that they make me feel less sure on my feet. i know i need to be patient with myself and just practice and exercise and do my strengthening ankle therapy, but i've never liked having to be patient and wait for results. Anyway, i went. when i got to the rink, i immediately dug into the gear bag to get pads that at least matched somewhat and a helmet that fit. Jessica joined me and right as we were set to begin putting the gear on, Adam called all the Fresh Meat out onto the track. We were going to be laying down rope over the painted track and taping it down with duct tape in order to more clearly define it for the scrimage/practice bout. That;s right. Our Travel team has it's first bout of the year this sunday in Fayetteville, NC! The taping took us about 45 minutes while the other girls warmed up and did some drills. Afte the taping was done, we geared up and practiced for just a little bit. Adam worked with me one on one a bit, skating close to me so i could start to feel how it was to be in the pack while the other 3 freshies practiced stuff i am not quite ready for. (i think they were skating really close and slowing and speeding as a little pack.) i was getting really frustrated by my ankles, but Adam said "all in due time" about 20 times. HeeHee. i love the patience and low pressure atmosphere they have towward us in Fresh Meat, and also the way the same leaders can be so tough on the girls who are already on the team. After some balance work (we walked one foot in front of the other down a line) we un-geared and became officials in the practice bout. My job, along with Jessie (not Jessica) was to listen for and keep track of fouls by the girls playing. it was a great way to learn more about the sport, since we will apparently be performing these roles and others at our first home bout of hte year on march 9th!
It was a different kind of practice, but exactly whati needed, and i am sooooo very glad i went! Now to figure out the logistics of going to the league potluck tomorrow night...